Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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