erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do vagina's smell?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
