Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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