i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
