its not stalking. its research.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We're too hungover to prance.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
