And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
