i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish i was in the wii world.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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