I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
