areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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