The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
look no pants
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
