no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
