Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We talked him into tasing himself.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
