this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
