imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
