One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
