i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so let's talk penis.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
