i permit you to call me
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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