Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
