I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
