is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
