Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
