True but thats because hes a fetus.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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