dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize