Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
