trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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