so that wasnt chicken after all
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
