She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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