He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
