you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize