I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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