It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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