it wasn't lemon gatorade
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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