then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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