I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
