i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
