Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
