at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
