She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
