i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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