i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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