Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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