I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
