Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
