he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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