We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't turn off my feet"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
