Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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