when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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