Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
