She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize