How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
