Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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