Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I smell stomach acid.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
