Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
