Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
zippers are such a cool invention
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
