I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize