STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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