So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
