I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Randomize