It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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