I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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