I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
