sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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