he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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