his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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