I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
