end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need a beard to bite.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize