Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
