i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
