I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
