I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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