ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
