I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
